“It was the best of times.” Now it is the “worst of times.”
So,if you have been following the blog lately,you are very well acquainted with the fact the tragic affairs I have been enduring for quite a while now.Today,frankly,was no exception.I followed the same old drab routine that I have been following since August 9,2011:
Go to college,
When alone:recapitulate it all,cry,and then go into a shell of abject despair.
Today was rather worse than other days,I don’t know how,it was simply that I was sadder than I usually am.Or maybe this is the pattern:that an individual gets dragged a level deeper into the black-hole of misery.I don’t know,maybe.All I know is,I was supremely sad.Today,was like someone shoved a pencil inside my chest and in order to derive sadistic pleasure out of it,was slowly rotating it to puncture the insides.
So,you get my point,I was enormously sad today.
I spoke to my friend,and she told me,it is only me who can pull myself out of my own misery.
Not that she did not want to help,and not that other people have not given me similar dose of advise,and not that,she simply said it,and I got back to my feet again.Not at all.
It just sort of struck me,while I have been wallowing in misery,I have been wasting my life with invaluable tears and thoughts.My Mom died at a supposed young age of 62.Noone could have imagined this.And no I am still not used to the void in my chest.But amidst all the gibber that I have been penning(in this post),what I want to point out is,we can’t take life for granted.When this year began,I had a list of To-do,New Year’s resolutions to accomplish,I barely accomplished anything,I was also supposed to list down ‘100 Things To Do Before I Die’,and then cross of each crazy-ass task that I wanted to accomplish.How conveniently we procrastinate,and leave the task at hand to tomorrow,without so much as a guarantee that there will be a tomorrow or not.In wait for tomorrow,we forget to enjoy the bountiful bliss called Present.
So,unabashedly I am penning down my to-do before the year end(December 31,2011):
1.Lose considerable amount of weight,
2.Study for exams,
3.Fall in love,AGAIN(irrespective of your BIG FAT ego),
4.Acknowledge people a little more,
5.Get a job(anyone looking for a freelance writer,message me),
6.Write a personal ‘thank you’ note for all those you stuck by in your lowest hours this year,
7.Start my Book,
8.TRY to be happy,appreciate each moment of your life.
9. This is one,sort of private,just pray that this ‘wish’ of mine comes true,
10.“Be the miracle that you want”-Bruce Almighty(reminded by a friend last week).
And yes,life will bring many more hurdles my way,but well,I can either look at them as barriers and cease to walk,or consider it a hurdle and cross over.It is just a matter of perception.
And also,a BIG thank you for all you lovely readers,for bearing with me patiently.I highly appreciate it.