I always have and always shall dread the Summers,here in India at the least.Never been the biggest fan of the season,not when I was in school,where we had a Common Cooler for the dormitory till we were 16 nor back at home,in Delhi,where everyday pollution of the metropolis aggravates the heat.So,as my exams came to an end on May 31st,I decided to bask in the sublimity of nothingness.I wanted it to last a week,but succumbing to what my peers termed it ‘last set of summer holidays ever’,I let it prolong the entire month.
I was supposed to finish some books over the month,and lose a little(make that a lot now) weight in these holidays and mostly,write a lot.Write on my blog,write poetry,and do some writing for myself.That didn’t happen either.I lacked inspiration,I was constantly explaining to myself to the sole reason transpiring as a consequence of my writer’s block.I’m going to be honest with whatever handful of readers I have left,and mostly me,that I was simply being lazy.Evading the process.And I sincerely apologise for that.
In one of bleak moments of lethargy where was my mind was caught up in dealing with multiple thoughts in tandem with each other,I wondered,why do I watch my favorite sitcom or a sad RomCom again,I know that how the drama-licious sitcom shall terminate and that in my fav RomCom,the couple are either to reunite and end the movie with a kiss,or if its Nicholas Sparks,one of the protagonist is bound to die,leaving with nothing but blinkers saturated with tears and with the thought that love,in today’s times too can unadulterated and divine.
I wondered,I probably hope,I might have watched ‘A Walk To Remember’ in desperate hope that Jamie survives her Cancer and that Landon and Jamie live happily,for the rest of their lives.But every god-forsaken time I watch that movie I end up feeling remorse for the hapless lovers arduously fighting to keep each other alive (physically for Jamie,and mentally for Landon in this context).
Of the countless times I have watched this movie ever since I was a teen,I have hoped for a different ending,each time.This led me to thinking,do we wish to change the ending of such sad stories because we believe we can change our stories too?Do we wish to re-write our past,or maybe scribble a little,which would probably make our present a little more amiable.I have always wondered that,if I could make the slightest alteration in my past,maybe my present would have turned out to be different( good different,mind you).That boy I should never have broken up with in school,or maybe chosen a different career,or would have fought to go and study abroad.All these choices baffle me sometimes.But then I think my past was once my present.My present which is now,I CHOOSE to do what I do with it.Maybe,I can’t rewrite my past,but I learnt from it.Learnt lessons to make
good, better choices for my present.I would call myself foolish if I repeat the same mistakes again,but today is a clean slate and I think now I know why I always pine for a different ending.
So I’m just going to leave you with a thought,and hope we all coagulate the courage to fight for the choices we wish to makes,
Laziness is a bliss,till the devil decides to set his workshop.